xmas

I have decided what to make everyone now to get my ass in gear. The only thing is I cant afford to send any ones until after xmas, lmao. I am really missing Emily and AJ. We decorated the tree with Caseys kids the day after Thanksgiving cuz he hasn't been able to do it with them in about 5 years so it was good for him but it made me miss mine so much. I am finding it hard to look at their pictures cuz it makes me cry and they get annoyed with me on the phone cuz I call too much and don't want them to get off. I thought last year was hard but I rationalized it by saying I'm in Alaska and its too far away so its ok, and that was just Em. This year its 2 and I hate it. I know they are happy and doing good and love their Daddy but it still sucks. I have to miss AJ's and Em's birthday this year. They are going to miss Lilas, I hate this...I'm sad